So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
