i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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