I have demons in me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
