Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
