wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
