the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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