your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
