So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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