I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
