I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize