Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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