seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
