ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
