yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
