haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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