Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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