Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
