last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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