his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
