There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize