I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
