I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
