My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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