He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
