My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
