Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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