this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
