Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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