boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
