Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
time to smoke my breakfast
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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