Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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