So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize