Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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