You work out of a Hotel?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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