dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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