So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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