If i come over, it means nothing
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
