I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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