your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
