cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
