I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
