would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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