Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
