scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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