real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think your dad took our porno
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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