He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
