Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
