The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
