Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
