i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize