CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
