Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
