Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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