I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
