How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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