They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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