He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my shit smells like andre
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
