we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
