i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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