I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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