She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
