Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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