I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
